Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving,

Many happy returns and all that jazz (ever notice that phrase is never used for this holiday, because I have). As you might imagine I'm writing this on a full stomach, and that is a very good feeling. I'm just full of thanks, and have been giving it all day, and all of the world is filled with puppies, and angles, and everything is just so lovely and beautiful!

It's really too bad that all of that's over in about 25 minutes.

If Thanksgiving is to be thought of as heaven on earth (which it is) then Black Friday is surely Hell, and anyone who participates is the devil. I'm just surprised more people aren't deterred from this rotten gumdrop by the fact that several people died by being trampled last year. I expect this year to be no different, and it hurts to think of the innocent sleeping souls that face this horror come the morning. It's sickening.

20 minutes to Wapner.

Fortunately there's still time for me to enjoy the third annual Turkathalon* and all of it's beauty. If not anything else I love to listen my music, and I can't lie it's a good mix. Unfortunately holiday music is about to be unveiled in all of its "glory." I personally cannot stand it. We have a whole month to enjoy before Christmas, why do we have to always be thinking about the next holiday? I have a strict policy** about Christmas music, and I will not break it, even if it means walking out of a store that's playing it. People need to calm down. If you're antsy about Christmas watch this to tide you over, it's kind of half way.

7 minutes to Wapner.

To finish up, I'd like to give those of you like me who don't like to rush the seasons some of my thanks, since it is Thanksgiving. Thanks for being cool like me. And that's it.

Oh, and if you're bored by the lack of comedy in this post, watch this, it'll make you feel better.

Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel - Editor in Chief

*The Turkathalon is a themed annual Thanksgiving mix my father and I make to celebrate the holiday. We then drive around delivering it to close friends as a way to literally give thanks. Past themes were Protest (when W. was doin' his thang), Celebration (when Obama crashed W's party), and this year it's Home.

**Policy:
You may not listen to more than 30 seconds of a Christmas song until my birthday, December 5th. Not a big deal right? Wrong. Try avoiding listening Christmas music a full week after everybody else has started to.