Monday, April 12, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
New Staff - Neo V. Yami
Hi all,
I am pleased to present the newest member of our staff Curran O’Donoghue, under his alias of Neo V. Yami. He will from this day forward be periodically sharing with us his Facebook updates and comments of importance from an entire evening. Today we look at one February 18th, 2010. Enjoy!
Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel -- Editor in Chief
Facebook Status Updates: Friday, Feb. 18, 2010
By Curran O’Donoghue (Used with permission)
[All spelling and comments intact as originally]
[Starting about 10:00PM]
Neo V. Yami From CNN: "Black History Month: brought to you by IHOP"
L. H. likes this.
Neo V. Yami When America beats Switzerland at skiing, a part of me goes 'yay' and another part goes 'what went wrong with the natural order?'
D. D. T. Yes!
Neo V. Yami But then Norway sets things right.
D. D. T. oh such lovely blonde countries. so.... lovely and blonde.
Neo V. Yami 50 degrees? Why? Why why why British Columbia?
Neo V. Yami Olympic coverage brought to you by Black History Month.
Neo V. Yami Sorry it took so long. DEFEAT THE WORLD!
Changed profile picture to
Colin Sanders just for you curran...
Neo V. Yami *This just in: "Robin Hood" directed by Ridley Scott*
Neo V. Yami I want the soundtrack to the olympics. Next time, I'm starting early.
Neo V. Yami Ice Dancers have awesome hair this evening.
Emma Brown likes this.
C. L. What's the difference between an "ice dancer" and a "figure skater"? Or are they the same thing?
Emma Brown Ohohoh!!! I can answer this one (sorry to interject, I'm an ice dancer, so I felt the need) Ice dancers do set pattern dances (tonight is the compulsory dances at the olympics) we do not jump, there is barely any spinning, and it's done with a partner. It's also the best form of ice skating :)
Neo V. Yami Well played, Ms Brown.
Emma Brown Couldn't resist, sorry.
Neo V. Yami This is a fact I did not know of you. Now I want your life story. In ten words or less.
Emma Brown I like to live a lot. (does that work :))
Neo V. Yami "Working with the inventor of the dance obviously paid off. Launching them into first place." - NBC Commentator
Neo V. Yami That period should've been a semicolon. And yes, but I expect the zine form of your life story by next month.
Emma Brown I don't have much to say about the details of my life, most are inconsequential. I demand to know you life story. In 8 words exactly.
Neo V. Yami I was born, I lived; yet to die.
Neo V. Yami Bam.
Emma Brown Insightful!
Neo V. Yami Wasn't it just?
Neo V. Yami BTW, you need to change your profile picture to Colbert's poster for the olympics.
Emma Brown Por que?
Neo V. Yami So we can DEFEAT THE WORLD!
Emma Brown How can I deny that kind of logic, I'll change it now.
Neo V. Yami By tagging yourself in *my* profile pic?
Emma Brown I'm lazy.
Neo V. Yami Now our stream of comments is awesome. We need to make everyone else do this too!
Emma Brown Our stream of comments is like a waterfall of Colbert!
Neo V. Yami I want the soundtrack to the olympics. Next time, I'm starting early.
Neo V. Yami Absolutely not a rickroll: http://xkcd.com/524/
Keegan Shelton likes this.
Neo V. Yami U.S. Census commercial: awesome.
Neo V. Yami Oh my, national anthem of Austrailia... minus the words?
Neo V. Yami Actually relevant status update: Change your picture to the Colbert Olympics Poster. Just take my profile pic!
Colin Sanders I did it.
K. S. weirdoes.
Neo V. Yami Are the female dancers progressively losing their clothes?
Neo V. Yami I swear, the first one was near-fully-clothed.
Neo V. Yami Okay, now that's a decent dress. Red and black, sort of frilly. Canadians have the ocasional bit of style.
A. F. i liked the first one
Neo V. Yami I did too.
Neo V. Yami I certainly never had a dress that nice.
A. F.Me neither. We should protest.
-Bottom of Form
Neo V. Yami "Jay Leno's back on 'The Tonight Show,' Monday after the Olympics" Yes.
Neo V. Yami The Norwegian flag looks like it's on fire. Bad camera-ing.
Neo V. Yami Martin Van Buren was the first president born a U.S. citizen (not British).
Neo V. Yami Oh, end of Olympic commentary.
[Ending about 11:00PM]
I am pleased to present the newest member of our staff Curran O’Donoghue, under his alias of Neo V. Yami. He will from this day forward be periodically sharing with us his Facebook updates and comments of importance from an entire evening. Today we look at one February 18th, 2010. Enjoy!
Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel -- Editor in Chief
Facebook Status Updates: Friday, Feb. 18, 2010
By Curran O’Donoghue (Used with permission)
[All spelling and comments intact as originally]
[Starting about 10:00PM]
Neo V. Yami From CNN: "Black History Month: brought to you by IHOP"
L. H. likes this.
Neo V. Yami When America beats Switzerland at skiing, a part of me goes 'yay' and another part goes 'what went wrong with the natural order?'
D. D. T. Yes!
Neo V. Yami But then Norway sets things right.
D. D. T. oh such lovely blonde countries. so.... lovely and blonde.
Neo V. Yami 50 degrees? Why? Why why why British Columbia?
Neo V. Yami Olympic coverage brought to you by Black History Month.
Neo V. Yami Sorry it took so long. DEFEAT THE WORLD!
Changed profile picture to
Colin Sanders just for you curran...
Neo V. Yami *This just in: "Robin Hood" directed by Ridley Scott*
Neo V. Yami I want the soundtrack to the olympics. Next time, I'm starting early.
Neo V. Yami Ice Dancers have awesome hair this evening.
Emma Brown likes this.
C. L. What's the difference between an "ice dancer" and a "figure skater"? Or are they the same thing?
Emma Brown Ohohoh!!! I can answer this one (sorry to interject, I'm an ice dancer, so I felt the need) Ice dancers do set pattern dances (tonight is the compulsory dances at the olympics) we do not jump, there is barely any spinning, and it's done with a partner. It's also the best form of ice skating :)
Neo V. Yami Well played, Ms Brown.
Emma Brown Couldn't resist, sorry.
Neo V. Yami This is a fact I did not know of you. Now I want your life story. In ten words or less.
Emma Brown I like to live a lot. (does that work :))
Neo V. Yami "Working with the inventor of the dance obviously paid off. Launching them into first place." - NBC Commentator
Neo V. Yami That period should've been a semicolon. And yes, but I expect the zine form of your life story by next month.
Emma Brown I don't have much to say about the details of my life, most are inconsequential. I demand to know you life story. In 8 words exactly.
Neo V. Yami I was born, I lived; yet to die.
Neo V. Yami Bam.
Emma Brown Insightful!
Neo V. Yami Wasn't it just?
Neo V. Yami BTW, you need to change your profile picture to Colbert's poster for the olympics.
Emma Brown Por que?
Neo V. Yami So we can DEFEAT THE WORLD!
Emma Brown How can I deny that kind of logic, I'll change it now.
Neo V. Yami By tagging yourself in *my* profile pic?
Emma Brown I'm lazy.
Neo V. Yami Now our stream of comments is awesome. We need to make everyone else do this too!
Emma Brown Our stream of comments is like a waterfall of Colbert!
Neo V. Yami I want the soundtrack to the olympics. Next time, I'm starting early.
Neo V. Yami Absolutely not a rickroll: http://xkcd.com/524/
Keegan Shelton likes this.
Neo V. Yami U.S. Census commercial: awesome.
Neo V. Yami Oh my, national anthem of Austrailia... minus the words?
Neo V. Yami Actually relevant status update: Change your picture to the Colbert Olympics Poster. Just take my profile pic!
Colin Sanders I did it.
K. S. weirdoes.
Neo V. Yami Are the female dancers progressively losing their clothes?
Neo V. Yami I swear, the first one was near-fully-clothed.
Neo V. Yami Okay, now that's a decent dress. Red and black, sort of frilly. Canadians have the ocasional bit of style.
A. F. i liked the first one
Neo V. Yami I did too.
Neo V. Yami I certainly never had a dress that nice.
A. F.Me neither. We should protest.
-Bottom of Form
Neo V. Yami "Jay Leno's back on 'The Tonight Show,' Monday after the Olympics" Yes.
Neo V. Yami The Norwegian flag looks like it's on fire. Bad camera-ing.
Neo V. Yami Martin Van Buren was the first president born a U.S. citizen (not British).
Neo V. Yami Oh, end of Olympic commentary.
[Ending about 11:00PM]
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Music
Hello there,
As some of you may know, I am a pretty serious musician. Below is a video I recently posted on youtube of me playing. If you want to hear me live, my listings are on my myspace music page, myspace.com/lucasbiespiel.
Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel -- Editor in Chief
As some of you may know, I am a pretty serious musician. Below is a video I recently posted on youtube of me playing. If you want to hear me live, my listings are on my myspace music page, myspace.com/lucasbiespiel.
Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel -- Editor in Chief
Friday, February 19, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
Best Headlines III
Hello
This is part 3 of an ongoing series of best headlines in the news. The list is in no particular order. Enjoy!!
Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel -- Editor in Chief
1. Cue the Director’s Adrenaline - New York Times
2. Sarah Palin, Vocal and Ready ... but for What? - New York Times
3. The Retarded Controversy - Slate
4. Palin Tea Party Convention Buzz - The Page (Time)
5. Why Antagonize China? - Wall Street Journal
6. What Is a Life Worth? - Newsweek
7. Obama hosts Super Bowl Sunday at White House - USA Today
8. Plans underway for Reagan's centennial in 2011 - LA Times
9. FBI: 'Billy goat bandit' strikes 12th bank - Houston Chronicle
10. Here’s to a long life, Buddy - Boston Globe
This is part 3 of an ongoing series of best headlines in the news. The list is in no particular order. Enjoy!!
Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel -- Editor in Chief
1. Cue the Director’s Adrenaline - New York Times
2. Sarah Palin, Vocal and Ready ... but for What? - New York Times
3. The Retarded Controversy - Slate
4. Palin Tea Party Convention Buzz - The Page (Time)
5. Why Antagonize China? - Wall Street Journal
6. What Is a Life Worth? - Newsweek
7. Obama hosts Super Bowl Sunday at White House - USA Today
8. Plans underway for Reagan's centennial in 2011 - LA Times
9. FBI: 'Billy goat bandit' strikes 12th bank - Houston Chronicle
10. Here’s to a long life, Buddy - Boston Globe
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Hayden Conrad - Handicapped Parking
Hello,
Newest member of our new recruits: Hayden Conrad. This guy has some opinions. Here's one of them on handicapped parking.
Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel -- Editor in Chief
OK you slobs,
I see people with handicap parking permits in handicap parking spots all the time with horrible parking jobs. I mean, they'll be four feet back from where they're supposed to be and be parked at a 45 degree angle. Just cause you are crippled, or have a disease, or you're just a fat piece of shit who cant walk ten feet doesn't mean you have the right to do a bad parking job. Even if this is the land of the free, you have to do a good parking job. It's not that hard to park in a parking lot, and if you are unable to correctly do so, you shouldnt even have a license.
Also, anyone who has a handicap parking permit just because they are fat as shit should have to park at the back of the lot because they need the exercise. Just because you're handicapped doesnt meant you're retarded.
Signed,
Hayden Conrad -- Opinionated
Newest member of our new recruits: Hayden Conrad. This guy has some opinions. Here's one of them on handicapped parking.
Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel -- Editor in Chief
OK you slobs,
I see people with handicap parking permits in handicap parking spots all the time with horrible parking jobs. I mean, they'll be four feet back from where they're supposed to be and be parked at a 45 degree angle. Just cause you are crippled, or have a disease, or you're just a fat piece of shit who cant walk ten feet doesn't mean you have the right to do a bad parking job. Even if this is the land of the free, you have to do a good parking job. It's not that hard to park in a parking lot, and if you are unable to correctly do so, you shouldnt even have a license.
Also, anyone who has a handicap parking permit just because they are fat as shit should have to park at the back of the lot because they need the exercise. Just because you're handicapped doesnt meant you're retarded.
Signed,
Hayden Conrad -- Opinionated
Joe Prettyman - Mango
Welcome,
I am pleased to announce another member of the UG staff has been added: Joe Prettyman. Enjoy!
Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel -- Editor in Chief
Dear Readers,
Today I will talk about Mango. Yes, Mango should be capitalized. It's up there with God, on the power-o-meter so yes it gets special capitalization rules.
Mango, is pretty much the greatest food of all time. Fresh, dried, juiced, nectarized, what more could you ask for from a fruit? It grows on trees, so the that helps with oxygen and all that enviorment crap too! Whoa! That's mind boggling. So not only is Mango delicious, it's also enviormentaly friendly, more reason to eat it. Here is a poem I wrote about Mango...
Mango, Mango the magical fruit
The more you eat the less you pollute
The less you pollute the better the earth feels
So eat Mango.
Sincerely,
Joe Prettyman -- Fruit Specialist
I am pleased to announce another member of the UG staff has been added: Joe Prettyman. Enjoy!
Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel -- Editor in Chief
Dear Readers,
Today I will talk about Mango. Yes, Mango should be capitalized. It's up there with God, on the power-o-meter so yes it gets special capitalization rules.
Mango, is pretty much the greatest food of all time. Fresh, dried, juiced, nectarized, what more could you ask for from a fruit? It grows on trees, so the that helps with oxygen and all that enviorment crap too! Whoa! That's mind boggling. So not only is Mango delicious, it's also enviormentaly friendly, more reason to eat it. Here is a poem I wrote about Mango...
Mango, Mango the magical fruit
The more you eat the less you pollute
The less you pollute the better the earth feels
So eat Mango.
Sincerely,
Joe Prettyman -- Fruit Specialist
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