New Staff

Hi there,

So we here at UG have been trying to broaden our horizons, and we're currently in the process of "hiring" new "staff." One of these newbies is photographer Taro Unterburger. We welcome him!! Below is a sample of Taro's work, which will be dropped in throughout from now on.

Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel -- Editor in Chief


Taro Unterburger

Tokai Bus


Jared, the Robot


The Three Musketeers


View Taro's Flickr Page

Doctors Without Borders

Let's get to it,

I don't have time currently to go into much detail about the terrible crisis in Haiti, but I've just recently donated to Doctors Without Borders in order to help them with their medical relief in Haiti, and I would urge you to do the same. Please do your part to help out!!

Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel -- Editor in Chief

Best Headlines II

Let's get to it,

These are currently the best headlines on the market in no particular order. Enjoy.

1. Obama, Wow!
2. The Senate Majority Leader’s Oh-No Vote
3. God Rest Ye Merry Congressmen
4. He'll Be Back
5. A Peculiar Concept of Freedom

Some of these even have good articles behind them. Until next time:

Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel -- Editor in Chief

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving,

Many happy returns and all that jazz (ever notice that phrase is never used for this holiday, because I have). As you might imagine I'm writing this on a full stomach, and that is a very good feeling. I'm just full of thanks, and have been giving it all day, and all of the world is filled with puppies, and angles, and everything is just so lovely and beautiful!

It's really too bad that all of that's over in about 25 minutes.

If Thanksgiving is to be thought of as heaven on earth (which it is) then Black Friday is surely Hell, and anyone who participates is the devil. I'm just surprised more people aren't deterred from this rotten gumdrop by the fact that several people died by being trampled last year. I expect this year to be no different, and it hurts to think of the innocent sleeping souls that face this horror come the morning. It's sickening.

20 minutes to Wapner.

Fortunately there's still time for me to enjoy the third annual Turkathalon* and all of it's beauty. If not anything else I love to listen my music, and I can't lie it's a good mix. Unfortunately holiday music is about to be unveiled in all of its "glory." I personally cannot stand it. We have a whole month to enjoy before Christmas, why do we have to always be thinking about the next holiday? I have a strict policy** about Christmas music, and I will not break it, even if it means walking out of a store that's playing it. People need to calm down. If you're antsy about Christmas watch this to tide you over, it's kind of half way.

7 minutes to Wapner.

To finish up, I'd like to give those of you like me who don't like to rush the seasons some of my thanks, since it is Thanksgiving. Thanks for being cool like me. And that's it.

Oh, and if you're bored by the lack of comedy in this post, watch this, it'll make you feel better.

Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel - Editor in Chief

*The Turkathalon is a themed annual Thanksgiving mix my father and I make to celebrate the holiday. We then drive around delivering it to close friends as a way to literally give thanks. Past themes were Protest (when W. was doin' his thang), Celebration (when Obama crashed W's party), and this year it's Home.

**Policy:
You may not listen to more than 30 seconds of a Christmas song until my birthday, December 5th. Not a big deal right? Wrong. Try avoiding listening Christmas music a full week after everybody else has started to.

Blazers Roundup

Well,
Sort of fell off the track with this whole "blogging" thing, and now there is "Tweeter(?)". Just kidding I know what Twitter is... But anyways as you can tell I haven't really kept up with this Blog but I'm going to pick it up again. My goal is to Blog after every game, at least. So here we go.

Portland 116, Minnesota 93. If you didn't see this game find a way to watch it. This game could be the precursor to an amazing turnaround. On Friday the Blazers played a better game than they had all year against the Spurs. but it wasn't pretty, there were 12 fast-break points Total, for the Trail Blazers. It was a grind-it-out kind of game and pretty ugly. The offense stalled out and the defensive was passable. Which, unfortunately, had overall been an improvement from the first five games. The one bright spot was Greg Oden going toe-to-toe with Tim Duncan, and looking good. But everything else... Gross.

Sunday night, Amazing (he says as angels trumpet loudly in the background). The Blazers looked like they could outrun the Suns (a bunch more fast break points). You might think that this would slow Oden's performance. But no. Whenever the offense was slowed and almost stopped they could toss it into Greg and let him go to work. Not only did Greg get points he looked good with assists. For the first time he looked like he knew where the double team was coming from and could find the open man. As for the rest of the Blazers only one thing need be said, Continue. Except for Brandon Roy, who finished the game with 2 points 6 rebounds and 7 assists. If he finds a way to score in this new system, which I am sure he will, we will be unstoppable. Even against teams that are more vicious than the Timberwolves.

Sincerely,
Anders Herreid-O'neill - Senior Trailblazers Correspondent

See Anders' blog at his blog Jail Blazers No More

Best Headlines I

Alright settle down,

It's time we started some traditions here at UG, so this marks the first of an ongoing series: Best Headlines. Enjoy!

1. Biden: It's Easier to Throw...Bombs
2. God and the Recession
3. Where's Health Care's Star Power?
4. Arrogance Dooms Olympic Dream
5. This Little Island with the Fate of Europe in its Hands (Ireland)

I will admit, I've been slacking off a bit on posting stuff, but I'm trying to make a comeback. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel -- Editor in Chief

Triple-A All-Star Game

Impressive,

For the past three years I have been excited and curious to see the Triple-A Baseball All-Star Game, which was played today in my city of Portland. Though I was mostly looking forward to seeing the stars of the future, the city had its eyes on another goal: impressing Major League Baseball enough to bring a team to Portland. The prospects of this are doubtful.

Portland just doesn't seem to have what it takes to bring home a Major League club, whether you look at the mind-bogglingly small crowds, or the attempted waves in the heat of a close game*. Frankly, Portlanders just don't care for baseball that much, and the ones that do would rather take the 2 hour train ride down to Seattle and watch a real game with real fans than try to stay awake in the midst of an unenthusiastic Portland crowd.

This is not to say we're not enough for other sports. Portland has a very successful basketball organization in the Blazers, who sell-out nearly every home game, and are home to the rowdy Timbers Army, which will only expand come 2011 when our USL (United Soccer League) team is replaced by a more powerful and competitive MLS (Major League Soccer) squad.

And then there's loyalty to your team. Portland is home to some of the most loyal fans in the nation, which is a plus for the basketball and soccer world, but a minus in the baseball realm. As I briefly brought up earlier, most baseball fans in Portland (however few) have already lined themselves up behind the Seattle Mariners organization, which would put a potential MLB team in Portland out of business as soon as the team hits the field. I myself, a long time Seattle fan, don't believe I could bring myself to back a team that would end up rivaling the Emerald City boys.

Fortunately I won't have that problem, because Portland won't have an MLB team... ever.

Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel


*There are rules to when the wave is appropriate to be used:

1: The difference in score MUST exceed 3.
2. The game must NOT be interesting.
3. If the wave is to be used after the 7th inning stretch, the difference i score MUST exceed 5 (if the difference is exactly 5 look to see if fans are enjoying the game, it's you're call)

The wave's intent is to entertain fans who were not being entertained by the game. DO NOT break these guidelines, or else you risk ridicule from true baseball fans.