Understandable Gumdrops

Music

2010-04-12T16:27:00.001-07:00

New Staff - Neo V. Yami

2010-02-22T21:02:00.000-08:00

Hi all,

I am pleased to present the newest member of our staff Curran O’Donoghue, under his alias of Neo V. Yami. He will from this day forward be periodically sharing with us his Facebook updates and comments of importance from an entire evening. Today we look at one February 18th, 2010. Enjoy!

Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel -- Editor in Chief

Facebook Status Updates: Friday, Feb. 18, 2010

By Curran O’Donoghue (Used with permission)

[All spelling and comments intact as originally]

[Starting about 10:00PM]

Neo V. Yami From CNN: "Black History Month: brought to you by IHOP"
L. H. likes this.

Neo V. Yami When America beats Switzerland at skiing, a part of me goes 'yay' and another part goes 'what went wrong with the natural order?'
D. D. T. Yes!
Neo V. Yami But then Norway sets things right.
D. D. T. oh such lovely blonde countries. so.... lovely and blonde.
Neo V. Yami 50 degrees? Why? Why why why British Columbia?

Neo V. Yami Olympic coverage brought to you by Black History Month.

Neo V. Yami Sorry it took so long. DEFEAT THE WORLD!
Changed profile picture to
Colin Sanders just for you curran...

Neo V. Yami *This just in: "Robin Hood" directed by Ridley Scott*

Neo V. Yami I want the soundtrack to the olympics. Next time, I'm starting early.

Neo V. Yami Ice Dancers have awesome hair this evening.
Emma Brown likes this.
C. L. What's the difference between an "ice dancer" and a "figure skater"? Or are they the same thing?
Emma Brown Ohohoh!!! I can answer this one (sorry to interject, I'm an ice dancer, so I felt the need) Ice dancers do set pattern dances (tonight is the compulsory dances at the olympics) we do not jump, there is barely any spinning, and it's done with a partner. It's also the best form of ice skating :)
Neo V. Yami Well played, Ms Brown.
Emma Brown Couldn't resist, sorry.
Neo V. Yami This is a fact I did not know of you. Now I want your life story. In ten words or less.
Emma Brown I like to live a lot. (does that work :))

Neo V. Yami "Working with the inventor of the dance obviously paid off. Launching them into first place." - NBC Commentator
Neo V. Yami That period should've been a semicolon. And yes, but I expect the zine form of your life story by next month.
Emma Brown I don't have much to say about the details of my life, most are inconsequential. I demand to know you life story. In 8 words exactly.
Neo V. Yami I was born, I lived; yet to die.
Neo V. Yami Bam.
Emma Brown Insightful!
Neo V. Yami Wasn't it just?
Neo V. Yami BTW, you need to change your profile picture to Colbert's poster for the olympics.
Emma Brown Por que?
Neo V. Yami So we can DEFEAT THE WORLD!
Emma Brown How can I deny that kind of logic, I'll change it now.
Neo V. Yami By tagging yourself in *my* profile pic?
Emma Brown I'm lazy.
Neo V. Yami Now our stream of comments is awesome. We need to make everyone else do this too!
Emma Brown Our stream of comments is like a waterfall of Colbert!

Neo V. Yami I want the soundtrack to the olympics. Next time, I'm starting early.

Neo V. Yami Absolutely not a rickroll: http://xkcd.com/524/
Keegan Shelton likes this.

Neo V. Yami U.S. Census commercial: awesome.

Neo V. Yami Oh my, national anthem of Austrailia... minus the words?

Neo V. Yami Actually relevant status update: Change your picture to the Colbert Olympics Poster. Just take my profile pic!
Colin Sanders I did it.
K. S. weirdoes.

Neo V. Yami Are the female dancers progressively losing their clothes?
Neo V. Yami I swear, the first one was near-fully-clothed.
Neo V. Yami Okay, now that's a decent dress. Red and black, sort of frilly. Canadians have the ocasional bit of style.
A. F. i liked the first one
Neo V. Yami I did too.
Neo V. Yami I certainly never had a dress that nice.
A. F.Me neither. We should protest.
-Bottom of Form
Neo V. Yami "Jay Leno's back on 'The Tonight Show,' Monday after the Olympics" Yes.

Neo V. Yami The Norwegian flag looks like it's on fire. Bad camera-ing.

Neo V. Yami Martin Van Buren was the first president born a U.S. citizen (not British).

Neo V. Yami Oh, end of Olympic commentary.

[Ending about 11:00PM]

Music

2010-02-20T11:57:00.000-08:00

Hello there,

As some of you may know, I am a pretty serious musician. Below is a video I recently posted on youtube of me playing. If you want to hear me live, my listings are on my myspace music page, myspace.com/lucasbiespiel.

Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel -- Editor in Chief

Taro Photo

2010-02-19T22:39:00.001-08:00

Best Headlines III

2010-02-05T21:51:00.000-08:00

Hello

This is part 3 of an ongoing series of best headlines in the news. The list is in no particular order. Enjoy!!

Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel -- Editor in Chief

1. Cue the Director’s Adrenaline - New York Times
2. Sarah Palin, Vocal and Ready ... but for What? - New York Times
3. The Retarded Controversy - Slate
4. Palin Tea Party Convention Buzz - The Page (Time)
5. Why Antagonize China? - Wall Street Journal
6. What Is a Life Worth? - Newsweek
7. Obama hosts Super Bowl Sunday at White House - USA Today
8. Plans underway for Reagan's centennial in 2011 - LA Times
9. FBI: 'Billy goat bandit' strikes 12th bank - Houston Chronicle
10. Here’s to a long life, Buddy - Boston Globe

Hayden Conrad - Handicapped Parking

2010-01-16T01:06:00.000-08:00

Hello,

Newest member of our new recruits: Hayden Conrad. This guy has some opinions. Here's one of them on handicapped parking.

Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel -- Editor in Chief

OK you slobs,

I see people with handicap parking permits in handicap parking spots all the time with horrible parking jobs. I mean, they'll be four feet back from where they're supposed to be and be parked at a 45 degree angle. Just cause you are crippled, or have a disease, or you're just a fat piece of shit who cant walk ten feet doesn't mean you have the right to do a bad parking job. Even if this is the land of the free, you have to do a good parking job. It's not that hard to park in a parking lot, and if you are unable to correctly do so, you shouldnt even have a license.

Also, anyone who has a handicap parking permit just because they are fat as shit should have to park at the back of the lot because they need the exercise. Just because you're handicapped doesnt meant you're retarded.

Signed,
Hayden Conrad -- Opinionated

Joe Prettyman - Mango

2010-01-16T00:49:00.000-08:00

Welcome,

I am pleased to announce another member of the UG staff has been added: Joe Prettyman. Enjoy!

Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel -- Editor in Chief

Dear Readers,

Today I will talk about Mango. Yes, Mango should be capitalized. It's up there with God, on the power-o-meter so yes it gets special capitalization rules.

Mango, is pretty much the greatest food of all time. Fresh, dried, juiced, nectarized, what more could you ask for from a fruit? It grows on trees, so the that helps with oxygen and all that enviorment crap too! Whoa! That's mind boggling. So not only is Mango delicious, it's also enviormentaly friendly, more reason to eat it. Here is a poem I wrote about Mango...

Mango, Mango the magical fruit
The more you eat the less you pollute
The less you pollute the better the earth feels

So eat Mango.

Sincerely,
Joe Prettyman -- Fruit Specialist

New Staff

2010-01-16T00:39:00.000-08:00

Hi there,

So we here at UG have been trying to broaden our horizons, and we're currently in the process of "hiring" new "staff." One of these newbies is photographer Taro Unterburger. We welcome him!! Below is a sample of Taro's work, which will be dropped in throughout from now on.

Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel -- Editor in Chief

Taro Unterburger

Tokai Bus

Jared, the Robot

The Three Musketeers

View Taro's Flickr Page

Doctors Without Borders

2010-01-14T00:20:00.000-08:00

Let's get to it,

I don't have time currently to go into much detail about the terrible crisis in Haiti, but I've just recently donated to Doctors Without Borders in order to help them with their medical relief in Haiti, and I would urge you to do the same. Please do your part to help out!!

Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel -- Editor in Chief

Best Headlines II

2009-12-24T10:47:00.000-08:00

Let's get to it,

These are currently the best headlines on the market in no particular order. Enjoy.

1. Obama, Wow!
2. The Senate Majority Leader’s Oh-No Vote
3. God Rest Ye Merry Congressmen
4. He'll Be Back
5. A Peculiar Concept of Freedom

Some of these even have good articles behind them. Until next time:

Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel -- Editor in Chief

Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T23:24:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving,

Many happy returns and all that jazz (ever notice that phrase is never used for this holiday, because I have). As you might imagine I'm writing this on a full stomach, and that is a very good feeling. I'm just full of thanks, and have been giving it all day, and all of the world is filled with puppies, and angles, and everything is just so lovely and beautiful!

It's really too bad that all of that's over in about 25 minutes.

If Thanksgiving is to be thought of as heaven on earth (which it is) then Black Friday is surely Hell, and anyone who participates is the devil. I'm just surprised more people aren't deterred from this rotten gumdrop by the fact that several people died by being trampled last year. I expect this year to be no different, and it hurts to think of the innocent sleeping souls that face this horror come the morning. It's sickening.

20 minutes to Wapner.

Fortunately there's still time for me to enjoy the third annual Turkathalon* and all of it's beauty. If not anything else I love to listen my music, and I can't lie it's a good mix. Unfortunately holiday music is about to be unveiled in all of its "glory." I personally cannot stand it. We have a whole month to enjoy before Christmas, why do we have to always be thinking about the next holiday? I have a strict policy** about Christmas music, and I will not break it, even if it means walking out of a store that's playing it. People need to calm down. If you're antsy about Christmas watch this to tide you over, it's kind of half way.

7 minutes to Wapner.

To finish up, I'd like to give those of you like me who don't like to rush the seasons some of my thanks, since it is Thanksgiving. Thanks for being cool like me. And that's it.

Oh, and if you're bored by the lack of comedy in this post, watch this, it'll make you feel better.

Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel - Editor in Chief

*The Turkathalon is a themed annual Thanksgiving mix my father and I make to celebrate the holiday. We then drive around delivering it to close friends as a way to literally give thanks. Past themes were Protest (when W. was doin' his thang), Celebration (when Obama crashed W's party), and this year it's Home.

**Policy:
You may not listen to more than 30 seconds of a Christmas song until my birthday, December 5th. Not a big deal right? Wrong. Try avoiding listening Christmas music a full week after everybody else has started to.

Blazers Roundup

2009-11-26T11:44:00.000-08:00

Well,
Sort of fell off the track with this whole "blogging" thing, and now there is "Tweeter(?)". Just kidding I know what Twitter is... But anyways as you can tell I haven't really kept up with this Blog but I'm going to pick it up again. My goal is to Blog after every game, at least. So here we go.

Portland 116, Minnesota 93. If you didn't see this game find a way to watch it. This game could be the precursor to an amazing turnaround. On Friday the Blazers played a better game than they had all year against the Spurs. but it wasn't pretty, there were 12 fast-break points Total, for the Trail Blazers. It was a grind-it-out kind of game and pretty ugly. The offense stalled out and the defensive was passable. Which, unfortunately, had overall been an improvement from the first five games. The one bright spot was Greg Oden going toe-to-toe with Tim Duncan, and looking good. But everything else... Gross.

Sunday night, Amazing (he says as angels trumpet loudly in the background). The Blazers looked like they could outrun the Suns (a bunch more fast break points). You might think that this would slow Oden's performance. But no. Whenever the offense was slowed and almost stopped they could toss it into Greg and let him go to work. Not only did Greg get points he looked good with assists. For the first time he looked like he knew where the double team was coming from and could find the open man. As for the rest of the Blazers only one thing need be said, Continue. Except for Brandon Roy, who finished the game with 2 points 6 rebounds and 7 assists. If he finds a way to score in this new system, which I am sure he will, we will be unstoppable. Even against teams that are more vicious than the Timberwolves.

Sincerely,
Anders Herreid-O'neill - Senior Trailblazers Correspondent

See Anders' blog at his blog Jail Blazers No More

Best Headlines I

2009-10-03T20:39:00.001-07:00

Alright settle down,

It's time we started some traditions here at UG, so this marks the first of an ongoing series: Best Headlines. Enjoy!

1. Biden: It's Easier to Throw...Bombs
2. God and the Recession
3. Where's Health Care's Star Power?
4. Arrogance Dooms Olympic Dream
5. This Little Island with the Fate of Europe in its Hands (Ireland)

I will admit, I've been slacking off a bit on posting stuff, but I'm trying to make a comeback. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel -- Editor in Chief

Triple-A All-Star Game

2009-07-15T23:23:00.000-07:00

Impressive,

For the past three years I have been excited and curious to see the Triple-A Baseball All-Star Game, which was played today in my city of Portland. Though I was mostly looking forward to seeing the stars of the future, the city had its eyes on another goal: impressing Major League Baseball enough to bring a team to Portland. The prospects of this are doubtful.

Portland just doesn't seem to have what it takes to bring home a Major League club, whether you look at the mind-bogglingly small crowds, or the attempted waves in the heat of a close game*. Frankly, Portlanders just don't care for baseball that much, and the ones that do would rather take the 2 hour train ride down to Seattle and watch a real game with real fans than try to stay awake in the midst of an unenthusiastic Portland crowd.

This is not to say we're not enough for other sports. Portland has a very successful basketball organization in the Blazers, who sell-out nearly every home game, and are home to the rowdy Timbers Army, which will only expand come 2011 when our USL (United Soccer League) team is replaced by a more powerful and competitive MLS (Major League Soccer) squad.

And then there's loyalty to your team. Portland is home to some of the most loyal fans in the nation, which is a plus for the basketball and soccer world, but a minus in the baseball realm. As I briefly brought up earlier, most baseball fans in Portland (however few) have already lined themselves up behind the Seattle Mariners organization, which would put a potential MLB team in Portland out of business as soon as the team hits the field. I myself, a long time Seattle fan, don't believe I could bring myself to back a team that would end up rivaling the Emerald City boys.

Fortunately I won't have that problem, because Portland won't have an MLB team... ever.

Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel

*There are rules to when the wave is appropriate to be used:

1: The difference in score MUST exceed 3.
2. The game must NOT be interesting.
3. If the wave is to be used after the 7th inning stretch, the difference i score MUST exceed 5 (if the difference is exactly 5 look to see if fans are enjoying the game, it's you're call)

The wave's intent is to entertain fans who were not being entertained by the game. DO NOT break these guidelines, or else you risk ridicule from true baseball fans.

Jeff Pendergraph/ Brandon Roy

2009-07-10T12:22:00.000-07:00

Hello Readers,

Possibly the most exciting prospect coming out of this years draft is Jeff Pendergraph. The 6-9, 240 pounder is easily the most exciting pick (beating out Patty Mills) because of his attitude and the fact that Portland was his first choice for Draftee (Link). When asked what he brought to the game his first answer was toughness (exactly what we need). He is also totally willing to be the back-up to Lamarcus Aldridge because he understands that he will probably never be the go to guy for a team.

That being said, what point is there in signing Paul Millsap to a big deal and then losing him when he wants more minutes? Well I don't know, but maybe Kevin Pritchard knows what he's doing. Although the next subject in the post has me questioning that.

Recently I have heard rumors that talks between Brandon Roy and Kevin Pritchard have hit a "snag"
... WHAT?! how can the negotiations hit a "snag" when there is only one choice: sign Roy for as long as you can and give him as much as you can. This whole process is made much easier because he's asking for the longest possible contract extension. So what's the problem? Your star and future is asking to stay with you for as long as he can and you hit a "snag"? What?

Until next time BlazerManiacs...

Sincerely,
Anders Herreid-O'neill

Useless

2009-07-10T00:48:00.000-07:00

Let's get to it,

Nobody likes the adds that pop up on youtube it the middle of your video. They suck. They're about as meaningful as the darts page on the BBC website (I'm serious it's really there). There are much more effective ways advertising on videos, that don't aggravate the watcher. Take Hulu for example.

They put the ad at the beginning of the video, so you can't even start watching it until it goes away. This too is a bit annoying, but it doesn't interrupt my video, so it's better.

What advertisers need to understand is that people won't be influenced in a positive way by this sort of advertising. I am a huge baseball fan, but the advertising on Hulu made me not even want to watch the All-Star game. What they really need to do is put the ads at the end of the video. Not the lame pop up ones, that just sit there like a stale gumdrop, but the video ads. That way people listen to your ads, and can't be distracted by the cover flow of related videos.

These things have caused so much of my time to be wasted, while I could be watching important business videos on youtube... like this one(Ouch).

Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel

Anders Herreid-O'neill: First Post

2009-07-10T00:09:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys,

Newcomer to the staff, Portland Trail Blazers specialist Anders Herreid-O'neill.

Enjoy!
Lucas Biespiel

Hello Readers,
First Post... Heard something interesting today, a Jerryd Bayless interview. What i love about this kid is his work ethic, during the interview with The Oregonian (link below) when asked about his vacation he said "I didn't deserve a vacation this year, I didn't do enough to get a vacation." While this analysis is somewhat harsh for my taste it just goes to show that J-Bay has the work ethic of a sweat shop worker being paid overtime (Funny?/Bad Taste?). With the departure of "spanish chocolate" a spot opens up for J-Bay to get consistent minutes at the PG. And although many people will point out that he is an "in-between-er" (two small for a 2, no pass ability for a 1) I don't think this is a problem because J-Bay's work ethic and will to win won't allow him to sink deep into the bench. Believe you me, J-Bay will be a star in this League of ours.

Oregonian Article

See you soon BlazerManiacs...

Anders Herreid-O'neill

Anders's Blog

Ahmadinejad in Trouble

2009-02-08T19:46:00.000-08:00

Here we go again.

Ex-Leader of Iran Mohammad Khatami has entered his resumé for the job again, the New York Times reports. It's not surprising, since he's been talking about it for quite some time, recently saying “I never had any doubts... is it possible to be indifferent?” He will be challenging current President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad for the spot.

People who originally supported Ahmadinejad, say that though they don't completely agree with some of the stuff he's done, they will go for him over Khatami.

Ali Motahari, a leading conservative member of Parliament, said in a newspaper interview that he would "prefer a reformed Ahmadinejad to Mr. Khatami."

The idea seems a bit ridiculous to me, and I'm sure the Iranian people must be pulling their hair out: you have two options, the guy who is in charge now, or the guy who was in charge a couple years ago.

Better yet, the guys both have the same first name, just different spellings.

I sincerely hope that a new candidate prevails. It's getting a bit redundant over there.

Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel

The Media Is Dying Part I

2009-02-07T13:08:00.000-08:00

Being a form of media, Understandable Gumdrops is frightened to find that media is dying. Fortunately, I don't pay for my blog. Yay. We stumbled upon a Twitter channel entitled The Media Is Dying. Every Saturday, from this day forward, we will point out all of the News) flavored Gumdrops that have been eaten in the last week.

This week, 24 Gumdrops:

1. The Medscape Journal of Medicine will no longer print new papers.
2. EMI cuts 1,500 jobs.
3. Indycar Magazine ceases publication.
4. The Monitor is no longer printing.
5. Three Chicago newspapers cut down on their tuesday issues.
6. Doubledown media shuts down.
7. WMFE reports more layoffs.
8. No Cal Public Broadcasting cuts budget by 15%.
9. NYT considers charging again for website.
10. Night Talk is canceled.
11. CNN "will no longer have editorial presence in the New England area."
12. Scyre ceases publishing.
13. The Weather Channel lets 4 on air people go.
14. Arizona Woman ceases publication.
15. Juicy Campus ceases publishing.
16. Walmart stops selling People Magazine.
17. Metal Edge and Metal Maniacs ceases publishing.
18. New England Property Report ceases publishing.
19. Seattle Times asks employees for 12% pay cut.
20. Healing Lifestyles and Spas is closing.
21. Financial Times scraps sports coverage.
22. Vail Sun ceases publishing.
23. The Washington Post will no longer be making freelance payments.
24. Washington Blade out of business.

Goody-Bag I

2009-02-06T22:33:00.000-08:00

Well.

In my travels of the news today, I found no individual Gumdrop with enough flavor to write an entire entry on it. As a result, I will make what I like to call a Goody-Bag: Two separate Gumdrops put together in one post. This is the first Goody-Bag of an ongoing shipment:

1. The American Historical Review, in addition to having the most original name on the planet, has rejected an essay submitted by Stanley Kutler about the Nixon tapes. Kutler was attempting to have the tapes be more widely available, which they should be, since they're in the public domain. However, since there is no complete version of these tapes, surly because of tampering by the former President, the AHR has decided that the essay was "too narrow," meaning that they don't think there are guidelines to be used in the future, only for this specific case. My take, let these tapes be more easily reachable. Why wouldn't they be? They belong to the people. We want to listen to Nixon's sweet voice one more time.

2. Sorry folks, there isn't going to be a $20 computer for people in India. The story wasn't right. It's a $20 handheld device. Actually it's a $20 handheld device, with no screen or keypad. The story started when the financial times compared the Indian $2000 car, to what they called a $20 computer. Everyone else wondered why they didn't get the story. They wrote about it anyway. Then there was a press conference and everyone found out it wasn't even close to a computer. Tough luck India.

Have a nice day... night.

Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel

Phelps Follow-Up

2009-02-05T23:53:00.000-08:00

Tough Luck.

Today, Micheal Phelps was suspended for three months by USA Swimming. They say he hasn't violated anything, but rather they wanted to "send a strong message" to him for disappointing so many people.

Kellogg has also said they will not renew their sponsorship with the 13-time Olympic gold medallist, commenting that his actions are "not consistent with the image of Kellogg."

Phelps agreed that his actions were regrettable, though he still hasn't commented on whether what he took were drugs or not. That usually means they were.

I have three comments:

1: It's not a big deal, people. It's better than cigarettes.

2: Kellogg came up with Snap, Crackle, and Pop. Someone had to be high to come up with those guys.

3: USA Swimming has to come up with a better name.

Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel

Micheal Phelps: People with bigger lung capacity have more fun

2009-02-04T22:59:00.000-08:00

Start Training.

So Micheal Phelps has twice the lung capacity of a typical human. 12 liters for Phelps, 6 for everyone else. To his benefit, this extra lung capacity theoretically means he would hold his breath under water twice as long as the typical human. That's pretty useful when you're a swimmer. In addition to being really cool, this little Fact flavored Gumdrop does cause some people to have some pretty interesting questions.

Here's one:

With all that breathing room, can he get more high than a normal person when he takes a hit from a bong like he was recently pictured doing?

Well let's take a look. Smoke from Marijuana is inhaled through the lungs. More lung capacity means more smoke. More smoke means more high. Case closed.

A problem for Micheal is that studies have shown that Marijuana that is smoked does actually decrease your lung capacity. This could be a problem for Phelps because of his world champion swimmer status. He needs more lung capacity to... well, be under water so much without letting being out of breath trouble him. Therefore, it's probably not the best idea for him to smoke pot anymore, if he wants to win more gold metals in 2012. Sucks for him.

Fortunately, there's pot brownies.

Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel

Obama Apologizes

2009-02-03T22:48:00.000-08:00

It's true,

Barack Obama is a smart person. So when two of his major appointees turned out to be tax evaders, he apologized. Did he need to? No. He shouldn't have to apologize for someone else's problems.

Was it the right thing to do? Yes. The American people need to see that Obama is going to take responsibility for mistakes, rather than say they weren't mistakes (wonder what Bush II is doing right now...).

Why bother apologizing for mistakes that aren't his? Because some people are going to blame him for this: he chose them, it's his fault. Guess nobody cares about being qualified anymore.

Let's take a look at what some news flavored gumdrops had to say about it:

NBC: Two tax evading appointees is something the people in the administration "have to take responsibility for."

No. It's not their fault. They didn't know these were going to end up being a couple bad Gumdrops. Or maybe they did, but didn't care because they were the best people for the job. That's not why he had to apologize.

ABC: It's been an embarrassing day for the administration.

Sure it has. Makes them look sloppy. The tone of ABC, however, was more along the lines of "that sucks for Obama," rather than "you suck Obama." I agree.

Fox: Obama needs to learn that we don't have two sets of rules -- one for prominent people and one for ordinary people."

So because the people they chose made some bad choices and therefore they stepped down, Obama thinks he's better than us... do these guys ever make sense?

All in all, Obama did the right thing, though he shouldn't have had to do it.

I'm still disappointed he hasn't saved the world yet. It's been like, 2 weeks already. Get going already.

Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel

Iran Launches First Satellite

2009-02-02T22:44:00.000-08:00

Be excited,

Iran has officially launched its first domestically built satellite, the BBC reports.

Iranian Prime Minister Mahmoud Ahmadinejad says it's for peace, as it was sent off on the 30th anniversary of the Iranian civil war.

The U.S. says it's for pinpointing targets with the nuclear weapons we think they're building.

Iran says the they're not building nuclear weapons.

The U.S. say they don't believe them.

I say we shouldn't get too freaked out about Iran, and try and negotiate a peace agreement with them, or at least put something in order so we can supervise their nuclear work a bit.

I also say sending what looks to be a giant missile into space is a bad way to promote peace.

Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel

Super Bowl XLIII

2009-02-02T19:42:00.000-08:00

OK,

Despite being someone who generally doesn't care at all about football, I still manage to watch the Super Bowl most years. That said, I typically have high expectations for the game since it's supposed to be the best, right? Well in my experience, it seems like this:

If you've seen one football game, you've seen them all.

Let me give you the rundown of what I see in every football game I see.

1: The guy kicks the ball off, and the other player runs with it. Everybody starts getting really excited at this point and starts yelling. This makes you think that something special is happening, so you get excited. Then the guy running gets tackled at the 25 yard line. It's very anticlimactic.
2: They run at each other a while, and sometimes someone gets past the other guys, and scores. Hooray.
3: They go into halftime. All football scores are huge so it always seems really close. A bunch of middle aged balding guys shout at each other, even though they all agree.
3A: In the Super Bowl there's the half time show. Typically the people performing used to be good, and you're surprised that they're still okay.
4: The second half starts. It's just like the first half until the end, lets say the last five minutes. The scores are close. The announcers voices are starting to go coarse because they've been yelling at each other for such a long time.
5: One team scores, and they get really excited because they were losing and now they're winning with only a minute left.
6: The team that's losing is really good all of a sudden, and they get inside the ten yard line, or they're thirty yards away. Either way there's five seconds left and it comes down to one play for a touchdown, or a field goal.
7: The team that has the ball converts whatever play they have to make and they win the game. For some reason the announcers get really quiet all of a sudden. Maybe it's because they've been shouting all game. Maybe it's because they plan to shout some more during the post game show. Who knows?

Super Bowl XLIII went down just like this. Football is still boring.

Here's why.

The salary cap is such that all of the teams are basically just as good as all the others, with only a few exceptions. Also, they only play 12 games a year unless they make the playoffs. How do people seem to get so excited in such a short period of time?Because they only play on Sunday, the day of rest! Of course, there are some exceptions to this rule, they also play on Christmas and Thanksgiving, because Football players are too tough for holidays (that's why they do it of course).

I'm aware that football can be fun to play. Sometimes games are fun to watch too. But it's completely ruined due to it's becoming a media spectacle. Any sport has to do advertise a bit, but come on, this is just ridiculous. They don't even try to cover it up. Pathetic.

Oh, and will someone please explain to me why Bruce Springsteen said "I'm going to Disney Land" at the end of his performance?

Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel

Welcome

2009-02-01T23:52:00.000-08:00

Welcome.

Over the next long period of time I, Lucas Biespiel will be examining the little Gumdrops of the world. A Gumdrop can be anything, a person, a place, an idea... anything that strikes me as important. Some of these Gumdrops are good, others are bad. I will keep in mind this motto as I inform you about these various Gumdrops:

Just because it's understandable, doesn't make it acceptable.

Every Gumdrop deserves to be examined. Every Gumdrop is subject to criticism. No exceptions.

Enjoy!

Sincerely,
Lucas Biespiel